I do not write on this blog very often. Severe ADD makes it hard for me to sit down, gather my thoughts, and actually get a post finished. But today, I need to write.
This morning, at about 10:30, my wife and I were told in a text message that we had become great-grandparents.
Our great-granddaughter, Capri Elise, was born yesterday at 1:05 in the afternoon.
Not this morning.
Yesterday.
We were notified almost twenty-four hours later.
Not five minutes after the baby was born. Not even later that evening.
And I cannot properly explain how much that hurt.
A new baby coming into the family is supposed to be one of those beautiful, unforgettable moments. It is supposed to be filled with joy, excitement, phone calls, messages, tears, congratulations, and that feeling that life has given the family something precious.
Instead, for us, it felt like we were told after the fact. Like we were an afterthought. Like the moment had already happened, the excitement had already passed, and we were simply being brought up to date.
Yesterday’s news.
We were even sent a picture of the baby today, but the picture had been taken yesterday at 3:23 in the afternoon. That means there was already a picture. There was already a moment. There was already news to share.
But we were not told.
And I cannot understand why.
I cannot understand why my son did not make sure we were told. I cannot understand why our grandson did not tell us that his child had been born. I cannot understand why something this important was allowed to sit for almost a full day before anyone thought to let us know.
They might as well have waited a week.
That may sound harsh, but that is how it felt.
Because once the moment is gone, you cannot get it back. You cannot go back and tell us in the excitement of the birth. You cannot go back and let us share in that first wave of joy. You cannot undo the feeling that we were left out of something we should have been included in.
And that is what hurts the most.
What makes this even harder for me is seeing what it did to my wife.
I saw the hurt in her face. I heard it in her voice. This was supposed to be one of those moments that filled her heart, one of those moments a great-grandmother should be able to hold onto with joy. Instead, she was left trying to understand why we were not included in this joyous occasion when it happened — why, as family, we were left out of a moment that should have been shared with us.
As angry and hurt as I am, it hurts me even more to see her hurting. She should have been smiling. She should have been excited. She should have been able to feel included in the blessing of our first great-grandchild, and in the pride, joy, and love that should have surrounded that moment.
Instead, she was left heartbroken, trying to make sense of something that should never have happened this way.
The baby is innocent. The baby is beautiful. The birth of a child is still a blessing, and nothing changes that.
But the way we found out sucked the life out of the occasion for us. It made something beautiful feel anticlimactic. It turned a once-in-a-lifetime family moment into an update.
It is hard to celebrate fully when the first feeling you are handed is not joy, but hurt.
Maybe some people will think we are overreacting. Maybe some people will say, “At least you were told.” But sometimes being told late feels worse, because it makes you wonder where you stand. It makes you wonder why you were not important enough to know when it happened.
Family moments matter.
Births matter.
Grandparents matter.
Great-grandparents matter.
And being included matters.
I know nothing can change it now. The baby was born yesterday. We found out today. That is done.
But I also know that this will stay with me.
Because some news should never become yesterday’s news before it reaches the people who love you.
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And to our beautiful new great-granddaughter, Capri Elise:
Welcome to the world, sweet little girl.
Your arrival is a blessing, and your life is already something precious to celebrate. May you grow surrounded by love, guided by kindness, protected by grace, and blessed with health, happiness, and peace.
You are a beautiful new chapter in our family’s story, and we are grateful that you are here.
Welcome to the family, Capri Elise.
With all our love,
Nanny and Pop Pop